Do I have the Faith?

I don't know where to begin with this one. God really spoke to me and challenged me tonight. You may think that I am crazy, but you know what, that's ok. I am going to tell what happened anyway. After church this evening, I was left alone at Majak wondering what I should do. I decided I ought to take a walk. I started walking and I headed for this little prayer chapel in the woods behind Majak. I got down there and started to pray. I began to walk around in the courtyard of the chapel as I prayed. At the edge of the courtyard there is a little wall about two feet high and two feet wide with about a seven foot drop on the other side. I began to pace back and forth on the ledge as I prayed. All of a sudden I wondered, "If Jesus were on the other side of this little ravine and asked me to walk to him would I have the faith to step off the ledge." Then I remembered a few days ago when I was eating my lunch on the Parnas fountain downtown. While I ate my lunch and watched the crowds of people going about their business in the square, I was suddenly struck by the thought that statistically there might be one other Christian in the whole square. I felt this sudden burden for the people and I thought if only I could speak Czech I would stand up right now and share the Word of life with them. Then I thought of Pentecost and I felt like God was challenging me to stand up and speak to the people regardless. I believe it was a test of my faith more than anything else, and sadly I failed. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Now I stood on the edge of this ledge with my faith tested once again. Not that God really wanted me to step out into the air. I think He was merely opening my eyes to how weak my faith really is. With my head down and full of shame I stepped away from the ledge and began to walk back. I knew in that moment if I had been in the boat when Jesus walked on water I would have been one of the eleven that stayed in the boat and not Peter. I knew I didn't have the faith, and it hurt. It wasn't about the ledge it was about God's power to really change peoples lives and to change my life. I believe God has the power to miraculously change lives and I believe he can give me a spirit filled sanctified life, but somehow I don't have the faith that he can and will. It is hard to explain. I guess I know God can do it, but when it comes down to it I just don't have the faith, I don't really believe. I was completely shocked and hurt and my own weakness and unbelief. I fell on my face before God and asked him to help my unbelief. I cried out, admitting that I lacked faith, but that I truly desired it. In the moment of testing I had failed, but at least I was honest with myself and with God. I really wonder what God could do if we truly believed. In Ephesians Paul says, "I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms." Wow, the power of God which raised Christ from the dead is available for us who believe. That is incredible power, why don't we see it at work more often then. Well it is pretty simple actually. I believe it is because, when it all comes down to it, we don't really have faith in that power, or at least that that power is still available. I know I may be starting to sound like a crazed charismatic, but maybe that's that problem. We want the calm, comfortable, easy Christian life. Maybe we're afraid of what would happen if we really believed and truly stepped out in complete faith. Maybe we are all too comfortable with where we are now. I know I am all too often. Yeah, I may be off on missions trip to Czech for six months, but that doesn't mean I am really stepping out in faith. I can get comfortable and lazy here just as much as I do at SWU. I am tired of living the comfortable Christian life though and I am ready to step out in faith and watch God do miraculous things. Are you?

How dare I

I Just finished watching the Passion of Christ. It has lefty me in deep thought and reflection. To think that Christ chose to go through all of that to wash away my sins. I deserved the punishment, but Christ took it upon himself because of His GREAT love for me. I cannot even begin to express the thoughts that are turning in my head, so I will leave you with these two thoughts. If he went through all that for me, how dare I ever doubt his love for me. If he went through all that for me, how dare I do anything other than live a passionate, sold out life for Him.

Thoughts for the Day

I have debated what all to write on this blog. It's main purpose is to keep friends, family and faithful prayer partners up to date with what is happening in Czech. It is focused on ministry and prayer needs, but I decided it would still be ok to blog my thoughts and more personal, everyday kinda stuff. So, here I go. If you want to read go ahead if your not interested in my ramblings just ignore this and read the posts about the ministry aspect.

God has really been teaching me the blessing of fasting and praying. It is a spiritual discipline I have not practiced much before. I started fasting for prayer and worship every Monday night and it has been incredible. I learned in Worship class last semester that one of the principles of worship is that it calls for sacred time. Yes we can worship and pray anytime and it can be casual or everyday, but we also need to have those sacred times set aside. I am not talking about church or your weekly Bible study either. I am talking about sacred time for you and God. That is what Monday night fasts have been for me. God truly honors that time and is has been much more meaningful and significant than I ever expected. Yes, I set aside daily devotional time, but this time of fasting and praying is different. I have felt closer and more intimate with God during these times than I ever have before. I think that the church as a whole has moved so far towards the casual "free" end of worship that we often loose the "sacred." I believe we have also forgotten the power and significance of Spiritual discipline. There is just something about fasting that says to me, "God you are more important than my daily sustanance and I realize that man cannot live on bread alone." I think this puts us in a pure and humble attitude of worship. And believe if your intentions our pure God will honor your commitment and He will show up! I do not say this to boast or say look what I can do. I say this to encourage my fellow brothers and sisters to do likewise. I want anyone who reads this to experience the power and intimacy of praying and fasting before God. If I do not share with others what God is teaching me it has only done me good and no one else.

Prayer is powerful thing. God continues to remind me of this throughout my life. This time of prayer and fasting has been one of them. What an incredible feeling to be connected with our Father the Creator of the universe! In my time tonight I was also reminded of it in a different way. In light of the week of passion, I was reading about Jesus in the garden of Gathsemane before his betrayal. Jesus is "overwhelmed to the point of death" and he comes back to Peter, James and John, the three closest to him, and he finds them sleeping! He had asked them to stay and pray with him and they fell asleep in Christ's greatest need. I wondered what I would have done. Then I wondered how many times I have failed Christ when he needed me most. Taht's not all though, he then turns to Peter and says, "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." I thought how true that is of me. My spirit is so willing but my flesh is definitely weak. How do I change this? The answer is right there, pray. Christ is the only one that can change our flesh. Constant prayer is the only way to overcome the weak flesh and live in the willing spirit. I wish I would do this and live this out everyday.

Those are the thoughts that God has given me for today. I hope that they have spoken to you and challenged you. Again I do not say these things to bring attention or glory to myself. I share them because I believe God has shown me these things and that it is my responsibility then to share them with others that they too may benefit. Thank you for your many prayers God is truly blessing my time here and I have seen him work in amazing ways. He has done wonderful things in the lives around me and in my own. "And I pray that you, being rooted in and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ."

God is truly amazing!

It is incredible to see how God has completely changed the lives of these young teens. Since Gabi accepted Christ she has had an extra glow about here. It is hard to put into words, but you can see the joy and excitement in her face, in the way she talks and laughs and how she interacts with the other teens. She is by all means a new creation in Christ and it is a joy to watch. One of the missionaries who just came back at the end of last month said the same about Petr. When Sabrina (the missionary referred to above) left Petr was not a Christian. She has commented several times on how different Petr has become and the joy that he has and is evident is his life. Not only that, but this young man who hasn't even been a Christian for a year is bringing his friends to Christ as well!

That's right last week another teen accepted Christ as their Savior! Her name is Kamila and she is one of Petr's friends. Petr told me that they had only met once but that they have kept in touch quite consistently through email and instant messenger. About a week ago she said she had been thinking a lot about God and religion and really wanted to find out more. Petr was excited to tell her that he had become a Christian and he invited her to come to youth group with him. So she came to youth group on Monday and God definitely spoke to her. David Ospaly shared his testimony that night and many of the teens told me it was powerful. Kamila stayed for a while afterwards to talk about it more. She was definitely hungry to know more. That night she emailed Petr and told him she wanted to know how to accept Jesus. Petr immediately passed the word on to David and they met and talked together on Wednesday. She decided right then and there that she wanted to become a Christian.

It is incredible to think that all this came from a comment she made on IM about wanting to know more about God. If Petr had not responded in that moment I wonder if he would have missed the opportunity? But he did respond, he noticed the moment and ceased it. He spoke to her when she was ripe and ready to hear. It makes me wonder how many times I have let seamingly little comments like that slip by unnoticed or unacted upon. How many times have we all done it. If this young believer can recognize the moment and have the guts to step up and take it, why do we, who have grown up in the church and been believers for years, fail to either recognize or act on such moments? How many people have lost their hunger and curiosity because it took us so long to do something about it. I hadn't intended on writing all this at the end, but it kinda came to me as I was writing and it really convicted me and made me think. So I thought I'd spill the beans and get a little deeper and personal. Well anyway those are my thoughts, and Praise God that he is able to use faithful young men like Petr to help advance the Gospel.

One more thing, I know I said I was sending out a prayer letter by the end of the week, but I forget that the Mission Director has to read them before I send them out. So I didn't want to bother him with it on Saturday so I hope he will have time on Monday and I can send it then. Thanks for your continued prayers. God is working here in amazing ways and I am convinced that it is because of faithful prayer.

God is working!

Sorry it has been so long since I have posted anything. I have had a really skewed schedule the last couple of weeks and have been busy with my honors project. Hopefully I will get back into the habit of keeping you all updated.

I have more exciting news! God has really been working in the lives of teens here at Majak. Katrina, another teen, accepted Christ this week! She has been to Majak some before. She started coming more frequently about a month ago because she is Martin's girlfriend. He became a Christian about a year ago and he has been bringing her to youth on Mondays. She met with David Ospaly this last Wednesday and she accepted Christ as Savoir and Lord! She is the second teen to come to the Lord in the past few weeks and I think the fifth in the past year. God is really working in the lives of the teens here. Some of the other teens are becoming more interested in knowing about God and I am excited about becoming more involved with the teens when English classes are over. Don't get me wrong I will miss the English classes and I have enjoyed them, but I would really like to have more time with the teens.

Last Wednesday we also had an English party. We try to have a special event once a month for the English students. This one was a trivia night in the Coffee shop. We had a great evening and they all enjoyed it. Between rounds Olivia and Jasmyn sang a few songs for them and the students even asked them afterwards if they had a CD. After one of the rounds I shared my testimony and talked about why I was in Czech. It was a great opportunity to share my heart and to present the Gospel to them. They all seemed to be paying close attention and looked interested. I hope that they understood and that God will be able to use what I shared with them. When they heard I grew up in Zambia they wanted to hear stories from Africa. So I had fund telling stories about lions and elephants and snakes and all that good stuff. After the program the students stayed for about 45 min just talking and hanging out with us. We all talked and laughed and simply had a great time. As a result of that evening three of them attended the International church service on Sunday night! They said they liked it but had a hard time following along at times. So we told them that the service in the morning is similar but in Czech, and they seemed interested. So hopefully, and pray, we will see them next Sunday morning!

I have much more to write but I am running out of time, so hopefully I will tell you more later in the week. I also hope to send out a prayer letter via email by the end of the week. There I said it so now you can keep to it. In the meantime you can be praying that God will bless our last two weeks of classes. Also that he will give me wisdom on which relationships I should continue to pursue after classes and how to best do that. Thanks for all your prayers and I hope to tell you more soon.